A Very Important Question

Posted on 08/20/2008 at 8:41 am by Bob Cesca

Why can’t Senator McCain close the deal?

Over the last four weeks he’s used everything — from comparing Senator Obama to Paris Hilton, to accusing Senator Obama of treason. He’s had the benefit of an international crisis and some (temporarily) declining gas prices. He’s outspending the Obama campaign on television in the swing states. And, naturally, far-right talk radio continues to hit Senator Obama on Wright and taxes and abortion (“infanticide” they say).

Yet Senator McCain can’t seem to overtake Senator Obama in the polls — or to break 43-44 percent.

Deal. Can’t close it.

Weak. Old. Panderer.

McCain fever! Catch it!

mccain_fever.jpg

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  • http://www.clusterdouche.com Elvis Dingeldein

    Symptoms of McCain Fever may include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • Dry Mouth – Repetition of “Cross In The Sand” story can lead to ashy dryness in salivary glands as guilty conscience makes it difficult to swallow own lies.
  • Headache – Constant proximity to irritating electrical buzzing produced by advanced hydrocell technology powering CinBot 9000 Sexy Humanoid Replicant Android Adultress can lead to painful and persistant headaches. Treat with very, very long naps.
  • Nausea – Regular diet of half-baked stories, bitter “humor” and rotten lies can upset the stomach. Treat on the quarter hour with 2 gallons Pepto-Bismol.
  • Fever – As a McCain supporter, your skin will be unusually thin and poorly suited to sudden changes in political climate, causing sudden temperature spikes. Treat by kissing cold mechanical bitches like Cindy McCain.
  • Diarrhea – Face it, you’re old. Anything spicier than a bowl of oatmeal is going to shoot through you like Cancun tap water.
  • MG

    Um… alright, Bob.I’m amused by how startled and surprised some people are by these polls.”HOOOWWWW COULD MCCAIN HAVE GAINED SO MUCH MOMENTUM?! WHAT THE HELL!???!”Were people in a coma during the last 8 years or were they somehow deluding themselves into thinking that we have magically progressed light years beyond the last 8 years?I’ve got news for them…

  • JG

    If the MSM continues to frame the race as a referendum on Obama in the hyper critical and Fox-like questioning way (and overlooking McCain’s gaffe laden, flip floppy stance on the issues that is EXACTLY equal to Bush’s third term, then Obama will most likely lose the election.I often have CNN on with the volume turned down, and they have been teasing their new “Revealed” specials, and the imagery is very disturbing–again, with the sound turned off, it reinforces the “unknown, exotic” candidate vs. the “mavricky, war hero.”I hate to say it, but after watching Bill Maher on LKL last night, maybe Obama does need Hillary to start playing some SERIOUS hardball–the race is only going to get slimier from McCain and the right wing–remember, if McCain wins he not only continues the Bush policies, but also creates a buffer of any accountability for the Bush fear years of destroying the constitution and ruining our standing in the world–Obama is going to give a terrific speech in front of 90,000, and I am sure the BBQers will kill him for it–”celebrity” “where are the specifics?” blah blah blah.The media keeps saying the McCain negative attacks are working…well, of course they are because the media is tacitly REINFORCING this nonsense…so sad–