New Rule

Posted on 10/31/2008 at 7:31 am by Bob Cesca

From now on, undecided voters who are still undecided after both the conventions and the debates should no longer be labeled as “undecideds.” They should be labeled “contrarians.”

Anyone who claims to not know what the candidates stand for, or who claim that they never hear any specifics on policy — and when they do get both, they claim that they’re not learning anything new — they’re not being selective or prudent or equivocal. They’re being contrarian knuckleheads.

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  • The Space Cowboy

    O/T but something about this screams “bad idea”…http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081031/ap_on_re_us/shelter_ship

  • beautykilledbeast

    Amen.

  • NotAPollStat

    Unlike 2000 (Florida) or 2004 (Ohio,) Sen. Obama has created a much bigger map for the GOP’s vote theft. Media and the GOP have to explain away this year’s electronic voter machine (and other) fraud by pinning it on not only the “Bradley effect” but those UNDECIDED VOTERS whom they are all reporting will shift toward McCain these last four days.I don’t lie awake at night worrying that more McCain than Obama supporters will vote. I worry continuously that McCain and the Rove, et al politicians will literally steal this election. I’m not one to stand in the way of technology, but I want my old “pull the lever” machine back. We’re up against liars and cheaters who will do anything to win.

  • PackyJ

    Wow, Bob. I was thinking along those same lines this morning when I saw the “1 in 7 still undecided” headline.

  • cminri

    Anyone who claims not to know what a candidate stands for chooses not to know. All the information is readily available. So that argument is pure bullshit.

  • trustno1

    Or, as Paul Begala suggested, some of these yahoos are the 2008 Bradley effect; they won’t outright lie…but they’ll hedge. I bet he’s at least partially right.

  • cactusgal

    Wackaloonarians…

  • El Mystico

    Yeah… I was watching Frank Luntz on Fox- don’t worry I never let my douche radiation badge turn completely black before I change the channel. He had a room full of focus group knuckleheads saying that they “wanted more specifics” from the Obama commercial.My question for these people… Do you want the candidate to drive to your house, sit you down with his Big Boys Book O’ Policy Proposals, and explain it all to you in soft, pink tones? I think that these people are so used to hearing that “specifics” are good but they don’t “specifically know” what that entails, so they end up on Fox pretending that they’re looking for something they don’t really understand.Also, it’s the internet age, focus group people. You wanna know something, it’s not much of a strain to look it the f*ck up. The man has a website. Apparently couldn’t be bothered to google him in he last 2 years…All I’m saying.

  • PackyJ

    I have an idea… how about labeling them racist fuckwads that don’t have the courage to say they don’t want to vote for the black guy who is clearly superior to the white guy in every fucking single respect?

  • http://www.broadwaycarl.blogspot.com Broadway Carl

    Yeah, the “more specifics” meme pisses me off as well. That and the fact that we hear no one complain about a lack of specifics from McCain when he says, “I know how to win wars, I know how to get Bin Laden.” Really? Do tell.

  • anotherbreakfastwithyou

    I thought I was indecisive.I overheard some smucks at Coffee Bean say that there a chance they would change their vote when they are in the voting booth, based on how they felt about the candidates on Election Day. Freals.

  • Jan

    Good God. These two have BEEN CAMPAIGNING FOR FRIGGIN’ TWO YEARS. I just think these knuckleheads like the cool attention of being an “undecided’. Makes em all mavericky and shit. I think the pollsters just need to stop even polling these folks.4 days out and UNDECIDED?pulllleeeeez

  • http://swashzone.blogspot.com/ Allosaurus

    A lot of this bogus “I’m undecided” stuff boils down to fashionable cynicism as a substitute for rational deliberation. Except that these days the cynicism isn’t so fashionable–the “un-lazy” people are more tuned in to the election. Years ago I had a student who wanted to write a research paper on voter apathy, but he turned out to be so apathetic himself that he never finished the paper and ended up dropping the course. That sounds about like the type of voter (?) who declares him or herself “undecided” right up to election day. A lot of them may not vote, and on the whole I’d say it’s a wash between the two candidates in this area.

  • Poleezz

    I have this squirrel that climbs up on my deck everyday and takes river rocks out of my small fountain. He licks each rock and then stacks some of them in a pile and others he throws across the deck. I have no idea why the squirrel does it but I’m certain the squirrel knows why. One thing is for certain; this squirrel knows which rocks to keep and stack which is more than we can say for the contrarians.MY GOD I’M STARTING TO SOUND LIKE COUSINAVI!! I miss that sweet ass Cous, he’s not around as much as he used to be.

  • http://www.poligot.wordpress.com Kristin Teigen

    I’m with PackyJ. I think labeling them contrarians is just so charitable. They are attention grabbing, intelligence lacking idiots with Jello for a backbone. Are you pro-choice or not? Are you pro-environment or not? Are you for income equality or not? Do you like the idea of being in Iraq for 100 years or not?Really, it’s quite simple, you freakazoids. Go into those deep recesses of your brain, past the Paris Hilton gossip and the debate over which restaurant has the best cheese fries, and make a friggin’ decision.

  • fightoffyourdemons

    If you haven’t decided yet, you’re either too stupid or too jaded to decide. Which means they’ll either end up voting McCain or not at all, respectively.

  • http://richeyrich.wordpress.com/ Rich

    How about we call them “blithering fucking idiots who,if they vote for McCain I’m gonna pull their intestines out through their throats”?yeah-that workks for me

  • incredulous72

    There is no such thing as an ‘undecided voter’ this late in the game. Those people are just not saying who they are voting for, for various reasons. Anyone that says they don’t know where either of the candidates stand on issues at this late stage is a damn liar and idiot.

  • http://www.osborneink.com Matt Osborne

    Anyone remember that SNL skit of Bill Clinton talking to voters in ’92? He would answer their questions, and then they would demand that he answer their questions.