Damn

Posted on 11/13/2008 at 11:12 am by Bob Cesca

I won’t be working in the Obama administration. One of the job application requirements:

They must include any e-mail that might embarrass the president-elect, along with any blog posts and links to their Facebook pages.

The application also asks applicants to “please list all aliases or ‘handles’ you have used to communicate on the Internet.”

Dammit. I knew I shouldn’t have trolled those Scarlett Johansson fansites as “DarthFuckwit69″.

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  • cminri

    Me either Bob..since HuffPo has deleted 32 of my posts so far….I don’t think I’d qualify! (Not to mention the stuff we say here on the GDAB)Oh well..

  • cactusgal

    Me too, Bob.I fucked up in 2002 with a rather incendiary email (regarding a certain president) to a foreign news organization, and it ended up in print. Anyways, I don’t think Obama’s computer banks have enough disk space to store all the self-incriminating emails/blog posts I’d have to fork over.

  • cactusgal

    cminri, Huff’s deleted 77 of mine. Haven’t checked today. It’s probably up to 88 by now.

  • Redmond

    Great. I’m really fucked…So much for dream job of being the Secretary of the Interior. *sigh*

  • PackyJ

    cminri & cactusgal:You guys are PIKERS. I’m up to 97 Huffpo scrubs, and still counting!The last one got scrubbed because I referred to Joe Lieberman as an asshat. What was wrong with that, I ask you? It was mild.They’re narrow-minded fuckwads.

  • Groobiecat

    hey! you said “fuck” on the front page! Cesca! You’re so outta here!!That said, um, is the Scarlet J. site still up? :D

  • CupcakeCult

    As far as those requirements go, I don’t know if there will be any new employees. They will have to find people that don’t own computers.

  • Bob_Cesca

    >>hey! you said “fuck” on the front page!Nope. I said DarthFuckwit69.

  • Nanotyrannus

    What about “HughGToole”? That got me in trouble on the flight deck once…BTW, they’re worried about blog posts and emails? Isn’t there some potential treasury dude they’re considering that has a history of saying demeaning things about women? Maybe he didn’t say it in an email…

  • cminri

    Packy – my goal is to catch up to you on scrubbed Huffpo comments. I think I will try for another 10 today. (Btw…at what point do they ban you from commenting!?!?)

  • cactusgal

    FuckPo scrubbed one of mine yesterday because I asked why Cindy McCain thought she had to “..go out for steak when she had turkey jerky at home.”Now you tell me, what the fuck is wrong with that?

  • Strawdog

    Clearly, the only two viable candidates will be John McCain and Ted Kaczynski.

  • PackyJ

    cminri- I don’t know. But in some ways, it would be a relief. Then I wouldn’t pop a blood vessel when they scrub a comment that has NO profanity, nor is an ad hominem attack (I understand the asshat scrub – Lieberman is more of an asshole than asshat).I wish I knew what keywords their scrubbing software triggers on – or if there are just some there who just don’t like my viewpoint.I just want to be loved.

  • http://www.osborneink.com Matt Osborne

    AHEM… If I may…By “embarrassing,” the Obama team isn’t asking about your HuffPo comments. They want to know whether you’ve ever posted, say, a torrid bit of pornographic prose somewhere.Furthermore, these sorts of things are not disqualifying as long as you are upfront and honest about them.

  • cactusgal

    Nano: “HughGToole” Goddamighty, that’s toooo funny!!I heard a Navy guy being interviewed on KING TV in Seattle once, and they asked what his name was. He replied, “Spurt Seaman”That required a change of underwear for the interviewer and myself.

  • jasperjava

    All kidding aside, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. It might scare away some of the “best and the brightest” if they have a wee little inconsequential skeleton in their closet.Not only that, the stringent vetting process undermines plausible deniability. No matter how careful they are, some embarrassing tidbit is going to fall through the cracks. When they have such a seemingly thorough examination, it undermines their ability to say that they didn’t know.On the other hand, it’s probably good that they’re weeding out freaks, crackpots and lunatics. The Obama administration is going to be run like the campaign: a disciplined tight ship.

  • cminri

    Hmmmmm..torris bits of pornographic prose you say??! Does telling my ex-husband to go fuck himself count?

  • cminri

    and by “torris” I meant “torrid”..

  • brutlyhonest

    Hmmm, didn’t get the 7-pager with all the “hard” questions yet. Guess I’ll be mid-level if I get in :P

  • http://tadams@twistoflime.com Tracy Adams

    I’ve only had three comments deleted at HuffPost; yet, compared to what gets through, I’m an angel. The fact that some of you keep posting and posting and posting only to have said posts deleted can only be described as postomasochistic. Stop wasting your time posting comments in that catchall reading hole.

  • cactusgal

    Is anyone here willing to admit to having a post censored by GDAB?

  • yelorose

    HughGToole Meet Mike Hunt

  • PackyJ

    Tracy:But it feels so good when I stop!

  • yelorose

    HughGToole meet Mike Huntsorry couldn’t resist

  • cactusgal

    Ok Yelo, you win. Must go change pants now.

  • PackyJ

    Yelo… are you channeling Bart Simpson?

  • yelorose

    oops, sorry for double post.GDAB censors posts?

  • cactusgal

    Yelo, based purely on my observations, even GDAB has a “fuck” limit. Bob would have to confirm this, mind you, but I believe it’s around 14 or 15.

  • KatinWilm

    There is a fuck limit? Only 14 or 15? Damn…I’m fucked.Do you think my talk last night on the open thread about the position piledriver will ruin my chances? And does it say anything about pornographic pictures, or are those okay?

  • yelorose

    Packy not Bart Simpson,Was reminded of a coworker receiving a call asking for someone she didn’t recongize the name of and being new not sure if that person worked there she announced over the loud speaker to the sales room “call for Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt please pick up line 3.” Happened years ago but still cracks me up.

  • yelorose

    Thanks Cactus, will be sure & stay under the limit.

  • http://obamaproject.windonwater.net QueenTiye

    Fudge. I was good until Matt says no to torrid prose. :( QT

  • http://jennydemilo.blogspot.com JennyDemilo

    I always fail the “are there nude pictures of you on the Internet” question. Appearently i would not just embarrass the White House id embarrass Deal Or No Deal too.;)

  • cactusgal

    KW–The official Fuck Limit of 14-15 is not cumulative, but merely a per-post restriction, I daresay, maybe even a guideline to the permissible use of profanity on GDAB.I should probably not even bring this matter up. As you know, Bob gets a bit testes about censorship.

  • Poleezz

    Just today I got the yield sign on BCGDAB. It was all over “ass crack”. Now the little warning thingy said it was delaying my post to help some such shit about fucking keeping profanity down on the cocksucking blog tubes. THEN it posted my ass crack twice. Swear ta God as yelo as my witness.

  • Bob_Cesca

    >>It was all over “ass crack”.WHAH??! I don’t have any language filters on this blog, and I don’t censor anything beyond the front page. I’ll look into it.

  • cactusgal

    There there, Grasshopper. By any chance was your “ass crack” remark preceded by 14-15 “fucks?”If it was–Bob’s your fucking uncle–they DON’T ALLOW THAT MANY FUCKS IN ONE POST!!

  • dontpanic23

    Cminri, I was banned at about 17 scrubbed on the very day Sarah the Dimwit Fuckface was announced (what’s that about a GDAB limit? Fuckity fuckwit buggery fuckery asswipe shit sombitch–oops, no job in the new admin—changing my handle to Sunshine23 and I don’t even KNOW anyone named DP). I wrote then about the banning because I had not used any of the above words or even way above–all the posts above–but was simply making a snarky remark–duh, it was the intro of the new Sarah Asswipe. I received No Reply and was not unbanned until Mr. The Bob AwesomeDarth69 came along and let me through on a comment to his HP piece, apparently breaking the curse of the ban (or maybe they unbanned me and it was accidental, but Bob was stuck with me at that point).Is there really a fuck-limit here or are you guys just fucking with me? Bob gets “a bit testes”? How “torris” does it have to be to get flagged? (Fuckity fuckarooney have a fuckaloney sandwich)Sorry, the fucking dentist does this to me.Oh, and I really went to HS with a guy named Mike Hunt. We all fell down when he was called over the intercom once–I don’t think anybody recovered for the whole day–especially those of us band bums who happened to be in class with him. I’m not sure it had occurred to anyone what his name said back then–until the intercom incident.

  • cactusgal

    DP you squeaked right under the GDAB Fuck Limit on your last post.And what’s this about your dentist fucking you?Just what canal was he rooting around in, anyway?

  • MG

    “Dammit. I knew I shouldn’t have trolled those Scarlett Johansson fansites as ‘DarthFuckwit69′.”Outstanding.

  • GItheJOE

    Fuck Limit? I thought this was a family blog? I refuse to raise my children without using “FUCK” at least twice a day. That is the way my dad did it, his dad did it, and I am going to do it Goddamn it. I turned out just fine. Nothing makes me happier than to drop an F-Bomb in public. It is my fucking right as an American.

  • cactusgal

    Let GItheJoe’s be the final word on the GDAB’s ridiculous and un-American Fuck Limit. GI, along with millions of other brave men and women, has fought for our right to drop the F-Bomb, the A-Bomb, the H-Bomb and whatever the fuck kind of bomb we want to drop, when and where we want to drop it.And just so you know, my old man served alongside General Dan Quayle with the Indiana National Guard, and by fuckity, he can spell potato with a fucking e if he wants to. He’s EARNED the fucking right, my friends.

  • dontpanic23

    Cacti, my dentist only fucked me financially, and with his hyg no higen no FUCKING TEETH CLEANER PERSON being a McPalinite and hitting the nerve with that cold water thing once she heard the word “Obama”.Sorry I missed one “fuck”. I really thought I’d bang the system. Wait, bad choice of words.And yes, thanks to THE for preserving our right to fucking say fuckity fuckfuck.

  • prcleburne

    Rats! PRCleburne was a Confederate general, albeit one who proposed freeing the slaves ( he was Irish ).