Run Away, Brave Sir Rudy!

Posted on 01/23/2009 at 10:53 am by JumpyPants

The following terrorists are being held in Florence, Colorado:

Zacarias Moussaoui, Conspirator in the September 11, 2001 attacks
Omar Abdel-Rahman, “The Blind Sheik”; involved in 1993 WTC bombing
Richard Colvin Reid, Islamic terrorist, nicknamed the “Shoe Bomber”
Wadih el-Hage, Conspirator in the 1998 US embassy bombings
Mahmud Abouhalima, Islamic Mujahideen leader, 1993 WTC bombing
Jose Padilla, Convicted of aiding terrorists
Mohammed A. Salameh, 1993 WTC bombing

I think Rudy just peed his vault. Someone check the newspapers in Colorado to make sure the Shoe Bomber isn’t bombing Florence with his footwear.

By the way, the DC Snipers are being held in Guantanamo — wait, no. Correction. They’re being held in Virginia’s Sussex I State Prison. Virginia, incidentally, is the location of a significant portion of the Capital Beltway where the DC Snipers killed 10 people. For the record, the FBI and the Commonwealth of Virginia clearly defined these attacks:

In documents filed by prosecutors, Chief Deputy Commonwealth’s Attorney Raymond F. Morrogh repeated the allegation that Malvo and Muhammad acted as a “sniper team.”

Malvo is charged on three counts: premeditated murder in the commission of an act of terrorism, premeditated murder of more than one person within a three-year period, and use of a firearm during a murder.

Act of terrorism? On American soil after 9/11? I thought George W. Bush and Brave Sir Rudy kept us safe?

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  • Packy

    Bush kept us safe only from Foreigner(s), Bob.He’s cold as ice. He’s willing to sacrifice.

  • Alan4s

    You just know what’s being whispered amongst the cells in that Colorado prison, right?

    Now it’s up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?Woah, before we do, you’ll have to get away from you know whoWell I’m hot blooded, check it and seeI got a fever of a hundred and three

  • http://nanotyrnns.blogspot.com/ Nanotyrannus

    Something that I don’t think got much play nationally is that Supermax is severely understaffed and has been for a few years. There were a few articles in the local free weekly here about a year ago.I’m not trying to suggest they shouldn’t be kept here, but it once again illustrates how the Republicans are all bullshit when it comes to them being the “law and order” party.

  • Curly Lasagna

    Perhaps Rudy will announce that he has successfully completed work on the construction of The Phantom Zone to house all “terrierists” and keep this dimension safe for ever more.

  • http://52novels.com Rob in Denver

    Also at Supermax in Florence:Unabomber Theodore KaczynskiOklahoma City bombers Timothy McVeigh (until his execution in 2001) and Terry NicholsCentennial Olympic Park bomber Eric RudolphTerrorist-for-hire Jeff Fort… several other bombers.The prison was profiled in Time Magazine, in a story called Inside Bomber Row.I live a two-hour drive from Florence, but the prison has shown it’s capable of handling terrorists. I say send ‘em.@Nanotyrannus: I think “understaffed” describes just about every civilian jail, but I’m not sure that’s solely the province of Republicans. Too many things influence overcrowding — NIMBY, absurd mandatory sentencing laws, arbitrary rehabilitative procedures, federal/state/local budget constraints, the will of the people, etc. As a result, there’s a lot of blame to go around.

  • J M Ashby

    The DC snipers were American and black rather than Arab and brown so it was not politically correct to call them terrorists.See how that works?

  • El Mystico

    Just checking in from Colorado… Nope. No shoe bombings so far. But my chemistry teacher made a couple pop culture references that kinda bombed if that counts. (No one was killed…speaking of which, how is it good if a joke kills, but not if it bombs?)

  • SillyGit

    I look forward to Brave Sir Rudy running away.When evil reared its ugly head,Sir Rudy turned his tail and fled.Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Rudy.Another relentless self promoting asswipe. But I don’t mean that in a bad way, he just sucks, maximally.

  • SillyGit

    This just hit me. What is Reid, the shoe bomber, doing at Supermax? Wasn’t he arrested at Heathrow?Don’t we trust the Brits to deal with terrorists? They have lots more experience at dealing with terrorists than we do. WTF?Does this imply that Cheney was enjoying his terrorist collection?So many questions.

  • Alan4s

    No Git, Reid was arrested in Boston. His flight left from Heathrow. They landed at Boston to throw him in the pokey.

  • SillyGit

    Thanks Alan, I remembered wrong.Yes his flight left Heathrow bound for Logan, he was restrained when he tried to light his shoes during the flight and so wasn’t arrested until they got to Logan.Thanks for the reminder.And thus began the Bic banning.