Clinging to Their Guns, Religion and Porn

Posted on 02/28/2009 at 8:47 pm by JumpyPants

Red staters love porn:

According to a new Harvard Business School study, eight of the top ten states in terms of online porn consumption were ones where McCain won in the presidential election.

From the study (pdf):

Residents of 27 states that passed laws banning gay marriages boasted 11% more porn subscribers than states that don’t explicitly restrict gay marriage.

Nice. Isn’t it weird how divorce rates and porn usage are more prevalent in conservative, self-proclaimed “traditional family values” regions of the country?

Incidentally, the Harvard study attained its statistics from “anonymised credit cards receipts from a large online porn company,” according to David Pescovitz at BoingBoing. I’m not saying that red state people are idiots, but look — they’re still paying credit card interest on subscription sites in the age of the totally free YouPorn? Yeah well, okay I’ll say it. Idiots!

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  • jasperjava

    That’s because conservatives are repulsive and can’t get laid.

  • Watne

    YouPorn? Redtube all the way baby!

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/ Kyle W.

    It could be that liberals living in those states are so stressed from their co-workers and neighbors that they’re consuming above average levels.And I live in a McCain state.

  • GIthePotato

    Can I add another statistic into the mix?33% of marriages are celibate. Just saying. Make your own conclusions. Here are mine:33% of married couples have at least on gay person in that relationship.33% of married couples FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER.33% of married couples stay together because of Jesus while cheating on each other/watching endless amounts of credit card interest porn.This statistic needs a source that I am unable to back up. Please help.

  • http://www.southofstrange.com Matt Osborne

    Haven’t we figured out the pattern by now? Nine-tenths of all wingnut obsessions are psychological projections. As Ted Haggard proved, when a public figure spends a lot of time railing about Teh Gay he is probably Teh Gay himself.Coming from a red state I have to say it does NOT surprise me to read this poll. I live in a town with an active organization called “Citizens Against Pornography” that has been known to picket stores that sell Playboy. Alabama is the only state in the union where it’s illegal to buy a vibrator. This obsession with smut and orgasms says everything you need to know about the state.Not a month goes by without another local man on trial for sexing children. Is there a connection? I wonder sometimes.

  • Russ

    Thw whole thing is a sham. Marriage, religion, and laws. Why can’t we all just light up a doobie, call in sick … or better yest just quit our jobs, and collect disability for fibromyalgia?Know one knows what the fuck fibromyalgia is any way, much less the Nazis in the state disability review board!

  • Kansasdem

    GI,I’ve been married 3 times so I can absolutely attest to your findings being accurate!1/3 of the time I watched porn, another third I wished I were gay, and I was too fucked up the rest of the time to remember;^)

  • dudeluver

    Bob,you are the man! What a great webpage man. Hey, dude, Kutztown University? For rizzle? Or am I too stoned too realize that its a joke and you really went to Harvard or Stanford? Dude, its a play on female genitalia right? Dude, seriously, like a guy who does pieces for Motley Crue can’t be a grad of Kutztiwn U? Dude…you ARE an over achiever!

  • GIthePotato

    Matt,I have just been told by a reliable source(GF from Birmingham) that it is not illegal to sell or buy a vibrator in Alabama. It is illegal to buy or sell a vibrator that looks just like a penis. Which is ten times as funny. NO, not a dildo that looks like a penis. HA!

  • Kat

    It is illegal to buy or sell a vibrator that looks just like a penis.Hence the reason that in the South, most vibrators are sold as “back massagers.” Although my Southern town recently got a Adam & Eve store and amazingly enough, the last two times I went, there wasn’t a single protester. Progress!This really is a funny story, Bob. And I found it quite amusing that Utah ranks as number one. So, they can have multiple wives, but none of the wives do the job? That’s gotta suck, dude. I’d be interested to know how much of the porn viewed is actually gay porn.

  • dy

    Video about the prior Texas situation, with the late, great, incomparably awesome Molly Ivins:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg“A federal appeals court has overturned the Texas statute outlawing sex toy sales, leaving Alabama as the state with the strictest ban on such devices.The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Texas law making it illegal to sell or promote obscene devices, punishable by up to two years in jail, violated the Constitution’s 14th Amendment on the right to privacy.”

  • Primaldata

    Actually screw redtube and youporn xvideos and tnaflix beat both of them. But you wanna really get into the free porn: ovguide.com/adult-tubesites-mostvisits-week.html it will let you pick which sites you wanna see(including for the conservatives who hate their gay sides tube sites dedicated totally to gay porn).As for the stat please Memphis, TN forced every adult book store to close at 12am because of rumors that gay men with “gold teeth” were offering blowjobs in the video booths.It was always my personal theory(thus no names and if you steal it I want my honorable mention) that somebody who’s husband was not getting a head clinic at home went to the bookstore and got busted. As to stem the embarassment, and eliminate the chance of it happening again this legislation came up and was passed quickly. I of course doubt that said way word husband was getting blowjobs after this(said politician was not gonna give him a blow job just didn’t want him getting caught in an adult bookstore getting one). Again just my personal theory.

  • JackDanieL

    Stay Classy UtahSincerely,84720soontobe92121

  • Tom McLeod

    whoa whoa…I live in Georgetown in DC…pretty damn liberal…let’s keep the spice flowing…

  • Teh Minx

    @Russ– Be careful who you call out, motherfucker! YOU obviously do not know what fibromyalgia is or how it ruins careers, marriages & lives. It took me two years to finally get disability payments, after working with fibromyalgia for 20 years. You can only hope & pray to Jeebus or whoever you believe in that you don’t (or that someone you love doesn’t) get this. Imagine the worst pain you ever had, ever. Now imagine having it every single cursed day of your miserable life. That gives you a tiny taste of what people with fibromyalgia have to live with. I hope that you never get fibromyalgia– then again, I hope that you do. I can’t think of a better retribution. Fucker.

  • T M

    The keyword here is subscribers…who the hell pays for porn? I mean clearly the industry is doing pretty decent…certainly a drawback…but it’s still kicking. I’m 25 and besides the Playboy I bought on my 18th birthday, i have never paid for porn. A quick poll of my friend came up with 2/7 have ever purchased porn. Perhaps the red state people just haven’t caught on to the frigging ubiquity of free porn on the internet.

  • MZ

    What they’re not telling you is that the porn in question is missionary position, with the lights out, both parties holding guns, without contraception and resulting in pregnancy which is carried to full term.To be fair, it’s hard to find that on Youporn.

  • MZ

    Oh, and the only sound is the chant of “drill, baby, drill!”

  • J M Ashby

    I agree with Minx, dont talk-down to people with fibromyalgia, it just makes you look like an ass. Fibromyalgia is very real and those with it have little break from the pain.

  • Teh Minx

    Thank you, JM Ashby. People that have to live with relentless pain & fatigue, not to mention the fun of irritable bowel syndrome need people to at least try to understand.

  • SharksBreath

    Republicanism. The party of Hypocrites.

  • SillyRatfacedGit

    Republicanism. The party of uptight peckerwood wankers.

  • http://freeforallpolitics.multiply.com/ Cody

    Penthouse Magazine Closing?CEO Says No,COO Says Yes : Internet porn has devastated old-fashioned smut rags.http://tinyurl.com/ctffcf