Secret Chimps

Who are the people who voted AGAINST this and WHY???

keekee. i wish i could say something serious about this, but i’m cracking up picturing you in a car with tint dark enough to get ticketed!

Although it would be cool to have three chimps who could perform like the Nairobi Trio.

I don’t really care who voted against this measure, but I would really like to know their rationale for voting against it. Seriously, is this one of those “big government” measures? Is it just an invasion of privacy to ask that you not keep primates stronger than any human as a pet?

OT – Bob, I just saw this twitter exchange by Joe Scarborough:

MO_liberal: @JoeNBC I don’t know if you get the e-mails off the morning joe page, so i just wanted to say that I love your article on huffpo from friday

JoeNBC: @MO_Liberal Thank you so much. The Huffpo community has been tough on me, but they were much more restrained last week.

I wonder if Joe knows that the negative comments for his Friday piece were moderated and somehoe never appeared.

I saw two great NRA bumper sticker-style responses to this yesterday, somewhere…”If owning a chimp is a crime then only criminals will have pet chimps.”and”You can have my pet chimp when you pry him from my cold, dead neighbor.”

Wonder why a chimp ban couldn’t be raised or passed during the Bush Administration?

And here’s another:

@JoeNBC wondering why we are not discussing that raising taxes on the people who are still spending money will hurt the economy even more

18 minutes ago from web in reply to JoeNBC

@Schmoozer7437 That is a great point. You are taking money out of the pockets of the few people who can still spend it.

12 minutes ago from web in reply to Schmoozer7437

Is that really a “great point”? How has that been working over the last year and a half?

NYTimes online article on primates as pets”An adult chimp has seven times the strength of a man, Ms. Truitt says, but even a 24-pound monkey has the reflexes and agility to take down a man.”http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/26/garden/26primates.htmlfrom same article:”On one occasion, they got in a wrestling match, and Higgins put one of his “steel-like fingernails” through Bob’s scrotum.”send that last part to the male voter’s in Congress and I bet a few more vote for the Primate Safety Act

Who are the people who voted AGAINST this and WHY???

I haven’t read the bill. However, it reeks of those knee jerk overreactions.If this Bill hinders Helping Hands monkeys, then it does more harm than good and everyone should have voted against it. Monkeys are primates too.In my entire lifetime, exactly one human was harmed by a pet chimp. It is not only NOT a leading cause of human pain and suffering it barely warrants a mention. It was news precisely because it was rare. Do some research and see how many people are harmed by pet snakes every year.This law is unnecessary and at the very least, a waste of time. Considering the problems facing the country right now, this Bill did not deserve any legislation time at all.I have my fingers crossed that paraplegics will not be screaming next week when they are informed that their ‘pet monkeys’ which they use as helping hands are now illegal. Do they plan on making seeing eye dogs illegal? Those German Shepard dogs are very dangerous.Sorry, I just don’t see this law as needed. Like the Flag Burning Amendment, I’m not choking to death on flag smoke and I’ve never even seen a pet chimp so I’m not particularly concerned about getting attacked by one. One isolated instance of stupidity does not a nationwide concern make. How about a law making keeping white tigers as pets illegal? I don’t think we need that either.BTW, I’m very familiar with that road in Stamford. I had friends that rented a house about 4 doors down from the chimp’s house in the early 80s and attended several parties there. The chimp didn’t live there yet.No matter how many laws you write, you will never be able to protect people from their own bad judgement. I point at the Religious Right as evidence. Write laws to fix that if you think you can. They pose more of a threat to my freedom and liberty than that chimp.

The bill makes exceptions for primates as caregivers. You can find the text of the bill here: http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c111:2:./temp/~c1116ooSv8::This isn’t sweeping legislation. It’s simply an amendment to an existing law banning people from owning certain animals as pets.

It’s not chimps as pets that bothers me.But distinctions must be drawn between those who keep chimps trained in hand to hand combat, guerrilla warfare, explosives…and those who keep chimps that merely juggle, ride bicycles and smoke cigarettes.Frankly, I enjoy an occasional round of feces throwing myself.

Thank you for that info Sierradrinker.I’ve too much experience with unintended consequences. Some very well meaning legislation caused more harm than good. This does not appear to be the case on this one.In my opinion, anyone that thinks that a gorilla or chimpanzee would be a good pet is of questionable sanity.cousinavi -Trained chimps used in entertainment acts are all children (preadolescent). All trained chimp handlers will tell you the same thing, mature chimps are far too dangerous to handle. If it loses its temper for any reason, you are done. That is what happened in CT.And yes, what you said was funny, but I wanted to put that info out there. I was in no way advocating that people should be allowed to have chimps as pets since I think it’s a bad idea. I’m still not convinced that we needed a law.

I was with SillyGit in my initial anger at this bill; it seemed nothing short of reactionary hand-wringing. There are other, better options than simply outlawing them, especially if that means stripping companions from the elderly. I’m glad to learn that it’s not a complete ban.

I don’t see a problem with people having chimps as pets.They should have outlawed feeding chimps non-prescribed Xanax.I agree with SillyGit; extremely knee-jerk. Dogs maul a lot more people than chimps do. Are we banning them?This is just a bit ridiculous. There’s more important shit to work on.

Humans keep pets.Pot-bellied pigs, varieties of canus, fish, birds, snakes, cats, horses, ferrets, ants, rodents of all sorts, lizards, spiders…No doubt, somewhere, some silly motherfucker has a special shed set up for his black mambas.Is it a good idea?Well…I really enjoyed my flat-coated retriever/springer spaniel mix – Tatum. Brilliant hound. I’m well convinced he enjoyed the relationship, too. The rabbits I encouraged him to chase, not so much.Of course, Tatum never once ate my face.It’s an easy thing to say – folks ought not to keep chimps.And yet, of course we keep chimps. In zoos, in research labs, in rescue shelters, in national parks and nature preserves…and sometimes in folk’s living rooms.This fucker ate cheesecake and wielded a mean hair brush (grooming instinct! I LOVE a good scalp massage!)Need a law? Of course we do. One that sanely assesses animal possession on two points:1. How likely is it that this sort of animal will present us with an incident of concern2. How severe is that incident likely to be?Example: You want to keep a bunny. The particular breed of bunny you desire is known to be an unpleasant and aggressive sort of bunny. Shall we restrict you? No. Bunnies cannot inflict much harm. Outside of Monty Python bits, no one has ever shouted, “Take cover! Rogue rabbit!”Other example: You want to keep a wolverine. The particular strain of wolverine (lowland European hairless?) is known to be a calm and sedate sort of wolverine….really doesn’t get upset about much hardly ever. Shall we restrict you? Of course. It’s a fucking wolverine. The degree of potential harm is unacceptable. 80 pounds of teeth, claws and (when expressed) really BAD attitude. Really much worse than an angry bunny.Chimps? I don’t wanna confuse the “oh, they’re primates…they’re almost US, man!” with the “what are the risks of keeping them around people?” argument.This woman had her face gnawed off. Pit bull could do that…another animal I suggest should never be near children.And, of course, it was only ONE face. There does not appear to be an epidemic of faceless chimp attack survivors.Not to diminish…but it’s ONE.Mamba would just bite the shit out everyone within biting distance then sit back and watch them all die.I gotta stop posting here when I’m drunk and rambling. Hopefully not incoherently, if inconclusory. Fucking spell check. If inconclusory is not a word, it fucking well ought to be.Inconclusive.I watched all those old Tarzan movies.You must say to the chimp, in a very stern tone, “CHEETAH! UNGAWA! UNGAWA CHEETAH!”/sorry. can’t help myself.

>>>Chimps? I don’t wanna confuse the “oh, they’re primates…they’re almost US, man!” with the “what are the risks of keeping them around people?” argument.Hmm, let’s see…they’re really strong, really intelligent, and you’re keeping them as a pet even though they can learn stuff like… opening a door with a key and jiu jitsu.Nope, I’m going out and getting a chimp. And then teaching it jiu jitsu! What could possibly go wrong?

Could someone explain to me how these clowns are able to enact legislation in less than a month for a complete and utter non-issue such as this but they can’t do what we actually send them to DC for?I mean is anyone amazed that they are able to fully research and understand the issues that come with owning a primate, draw up a well considered legislation and pass that same legislation in so short a time? Oh, wait they can’t.Knee jerk thou art defined.