Loud Noises – Earth Hour Edition

Tonight at 8:30 is Earth Hour when everyone around the world is supposed to turn out their lights for one hour in order to raise awareness of the climate crisis.

But throughout the wingnut blogotubes, they’ve decided to turn on all of their lights as a too-clever way of cancelling out Earth Hour. Here’s another wingnut who’s offering a list of suggestions for how to go about doing this. Utterly brilliant suggestions like:

8. Burn tires

Smart! Your neighbors will enjoy the fumes and odor coming from your hillbilly bonfire.

24. Leave your oven open

And maybe climb in.

34. Turn on your air purifier

Yes. You’re going to need it when your house fills with fumes, gasses and stink from your open oven and burning tires in the yard. Incidentally, if the air is so clean and unpolluted, why the air purifiers?

A couple of years ago, there was a website where you could pay to have a tree ripped out of the ground in order to cancel out the purchase of Carbon Offsets. I’m happy to report that the website no longer exists. Awww. I wonder why.

Earlier today, I received a wingnut e-mail with the following post script:

By the way, don’t forget to turn out your lights tonight. Someone’s going to have to make up for all the extra electricity I will be using.

I have a few more suggestions for any wingnuts who might want to cancel out Earth Hour.

1. Just burn a stack of money.
2. Write a check for $100. Send directly to hostile Middle Eastern Islamic petro-governments. (Don’t forget to dot your “i’s” with little hearts.)
3. Fill up your SUV with gasoline. When your tank is full, proceed to fill up the passenger compartment, too.
4. Why only an hour? Leave all your shit on for a month! Enjoy your bills.
5. Buy a carton of smokes. Smoke all of them in your backyard while using your burning tires as the world’s most awesome hillbilly lighter. When your hair and face accidentally catch fire, your burning flesh and hair will cause more delicious pollution! Once you’re good and sick from the fumes and smoking an entire carton of cigarettes and, you know, burning your face, pass out on top of the burning tires.

Even if there wasn’t any consensus on the causes and effects of the climate crisis (and there is), what’s the point of counteracting Earth Hour? Take the science and environmentalism out of the equation and we still have a pretty serious energy crisis. Don’t the wingnuts remember their ridiculous “drill baby drill” chant? That was a response to there being not enough affordable fuel to go around. But whatever — crank up your utility bills if it’ll make you happy, wingnuts. It’s your money.

Adding… This NY Times article is incredibly stupid. Yes, sometimes new lightblubs don’t work. Guess what else? Sometimes there are a couple of eggs in a carton that are cracked. Ever had to exchange an electronic device that was damaged in shipping? And by the way, I have a crapload of CFLs in my house. Every single bulb I’ve purchased worked just fine.

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  • gypsy

    all day today (as i have not even left my house!) i have been planning a “how awesome is bob cesca, bob cesca’s goddamn awesome blog, and the people who comment here?” for the ptt and this post just proves my point! i can’t pick one statement that made me laugh more than another in this article! i’ll save the gushing for later. ;)

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com cousinavi

    All alone or in twos,the ones who really love youwalk up and down outside the wall.Some hand in handand some gathered together in bands,the bleeding hearts and artistsmake their stand.And when they’ve given it their allsome stagger and fall…After all, it’s not easybanging your heartagainst some mad bugger’s wall.

  • jane

    “lightblub” reminds me of Giggle Time All-Mo from Chinatown.

  • RockN

    UFO Lights Outhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aatjerFCRP8

  • camel54

    What is wrong with these morons? Jesus Christ we’re trying to have us a civilization here. Who brought the children?

  • jenski42

    I will just paraphrase Bill Maher here and say that anyone who has children and is not concerned about the environment is on something.Bob, #2 on your list is so chock full of awesomeness, I don’t know where to begin.

  • jenski42

    P.S. to the wingnutters that might be reading this. From my children, I say fuck you. And if you think your petty little vindictive game means anything outside this country, you’re wrong. In the grand scheme of things, you’re way outnumbered, and lose.

  • Ken129

    Jenski42-For your consideration:”We urge the United States government to reject the global warming agreement that was written in Kyoto, Japan in December, 1997, and any other similar proposals. The proposed limits on greenhouse gases would harm the environment, hinder the advance of science and technology, and damage the health and welfare of mankind.There is no convincing scientific evidence that human release of carbon dioxide, methane, or other greenhouse gasses is causing or will, in the foreseeable future, cause catastrophic heating of the Earth’s atmosphere and disruption of the Earth’s climate. Moreover, there is substantial scientific evidence that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide produce many beneficial effects upon the natural plant and animal environments of the Earth.”This petition has been signed by over 31,000 American scientists.From the Oregon Institute of Science & Medicinehttp://www.oism.org/s32p31.htmJenski42- Did you get that number of 31,000 scientists? Not wingnuts, scientists.Did you get the part about the benefical effects of increasing the atmospheric carbon dioxide on natural plant and animal enviroments? I have 31,000 scientists saying that what your trying to accomplish will DECREASE the beneficial effects on plants and animal enviroments. Should I give YOU the FU from my kids?????

  • SillyRatfacedGit

    Thank you Bob. This post is out-fucking-standing.Wingnuts negating Earth Hour:After filling your SUVs (passenger compartment as well) with gasoline, hand the bill to your children. See if they thank you. You suck as a parent you selfish prick.

  • camel54

    @Ken129, it has already been debunked that those 31000 people are scientists except in the very loosest of terms. It includes undergraduate degrees in math. It includes dentists. It includes mathematicians and medical doctors and it even includes dead people. None of those people are climatologist.Did you get that? 31,000 non-scientists. They may not be wingnuts, I’m not one to judge, but they have no business being called scientists with any authority on climate change.

  • camel54

    Quick correction, I am one to judge. These are people who are knowingly passing themselves off as something they are not (in some cases that means alive rather than dead in case you didn’t catch that) and furthering a lie that will affect the health of me and my children.If these people are so convinced they are right and the other 99% of scientists in the world are wrong, why then do they need to lie?

  • thruwithbuzz

    @camel54: so you mean you don’t ask a dead dentist about the climate? That’s crazy talk.

  • AC

    I haven’t had a single problem with any of my CFLs, either.I’m spending 8:30 to 9:30 in a candlelit bath with my lady.THANKS, EARTH HOUR!

  • jenski42

    Ken129,First off, for the record, I am referring to the tire burners and other emotionally stunted people who e-mailed Bob that they are going to burn electricity to counteract Earth Hour.Second. The OISM has 8 faculty members, 2 of whom are deceased. They don’t teach, they don’t do research, and they mainly exist, apparently to say how socialistic the public school system is.Third. I’m a biologist, so, you don’t need to tell me how science works, thanks. FYI: Studies are done using different parameters that arrive at different conclusions. Conflicting evidence must be weighed against each other and evaluated. 31,000 people that don’t believe in global warming sounds like something significant? OISM admits that 95% of them have no experience in studying the climate (as stated by camel, above.) This leads me (rightfully) to believe that this petition is nothing but a PR stunt, one to give the global warming deniers some fake data to hang their hats on.So the FU still stands.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com cousinavi

    @ Ken one-twenty-something,,,31KI don’t believe you.I want the list, with credentials.Curious how many are post-graduate degrees from Jesus Rode Dinosaurs College.31,000. Scientists.No. Absent proof, you are a scumfuck LIAR. You LIE for Jesus. The Jesus does not abide, dude.

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com cousinavi

    HA! Camel54 beat me to it.31 thousand dentists agree…Go fuck yourself.

  • gypsy

    btw avi, i love/hate you too! ;)

  • Elvis the Dingeldein™

    Hey Mr. The Ken One-Two-Nine!First of all, thanks for dropping in, glad to have you.Secondly, “OISM also markets a home-schooling kit for ‘parents concerned about socialism in the public schools’ and publishes books on how to survive nuclear war.” So that’s fun!Thirdly, vis-a-vis those 31,000? “The institute is so lax about screening names…that virtually anyone can sign, including for example Al Caruba, a pesticide-industry PR man and conservative ideologue who runs his own website called the ‘National Anxiety Center.’”And fourth, you’re a douche and should go fuck yourself. With an enormous cannister of CO2.

  • Ken129

    Elvis the Dingleberry-Thanks for the warm welcome, and fuck you too ya douche.Here is an article from the professor of meteorology at MIT, but I’m sure you’ll find something wrong with this one too.http://www-eaps.mit.edu/faculty/lindzen/153_Regulation.pdf

  • Ken129

    Cousinavi-Here is breakdown that you requested:Qualifications of SignersSignatories are approved for inclusion in the Petition Project list if they have obtained formal educational degrees at the level of Bachelor of Science or higher in appropriate scientific fields. The petition has been circulated only in the United States.The current list of petition signers includes 9,029 PhD; 7,153 MS; 2,585 MD and DVM; and 12,711 BS or equivalent academic degrees. Most of the MD and DVM signers also have underlying degrees in basic science.All of the listed signers have formal educations in fields of specialization that suitably qualify them to evaluate the research data related to the petition statement. Many of the signers currently work in climatological, meteorological, atmospheric, environmental, geophysical, astronomical, and biological fields directly involved in the climate change controversy.The Petition Project classifies petition signers on the basis of their formal academic training, as summarized below. Scientists often pursue specialized fields of endeavor that are different from their formal education, but their underlying training can be applied to any scientific field in which they become interested.Outlined below are the numbers of Petition Project signatories, subdivided by educational specialties. These have been combined, as indicated, into seven categories.1. Atmospheric, environmental, and Earth sciences includes 3,803 scientists trained in specialties directly related to the physical environment of the Earth and the past and current phenomena that affect that environment.2. Computer and mathematical sciences includes 935 scientists trained in computer and mathematical methods. Since the human-caused global warming hypothesis rests entirely upon mathematical computer projections and not upon experimental observations, these sciences are especially important in evaluating this hypothesis.3. Physics and aerospace sciences include 5,810 scientists trained in the fundamental physical and molecular properties of gases, liquids, and solids, which are essential to understanding the physical properties of the atmosphere and Earth.4. Chemistry includes 4,818 scientists trained in the molecular interactions and behaviors of the substances of which the atmosphere and Earth are composed.5. Biology and agriculture includes 2,964 scientists trained in the functional and environmental requirements of living things on the Earth.6. Medicine includes 3,046 scientists trained in the functional and environmental requirements of human beings on the Earth.7. Engineering and general science includes 10,102 scientists trained primarily in the many engineering specialties required to maintain modern civilization and the prosperity required for all human actions, including environmental programs.

  • thespacecowboy

    ‘Obvious troll’ is boring…

  • veralynn

    I don’t care what anyone says say avi…you quote Floyd, you are ok by meBonus! You make excellent points, I don’t always go with you on some things, but you say it well and again, you quote Floyd

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com cousinavi

    @ Ken129Well…you can’t dispute that.There’s a guy with a Falwell Philosophy degree who says there is a god.That’s proof enough for me.

  • http://www.bobcesca.com Bob Cesca

    The OISM is a joke. I’ve published more about environmental science that many of the names on that list, and I have a degree in *Political* Science. Could I sign the petition, too?One of many debunkings:http://thingsbreak.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/oregon-petition-redux/Also, in case any of you need a handy resource for debunking various deniers/skeptics talking points, bookmark this site:http://scienceblogs.com/illconsidered/2008/07/how_to_talk_to_a_sceptic.php

  • camel54

    Yes, I do remember veralynn and I remember how she said that we would meet again some sunny day. And I too loved the bit o’ Floyd. I’ve been humming that tune ever since I first saw it here earlier. Nice.Regarding Ken’s list of criteria for the signers of the nonsense petition, I could spend a lot of time explaining to you why that list is silly, but if you can’t look at it and see for yourself that the essential criterion they’ve outlined is that they want people who have studied sciency sounding things, then you’re never going to get it so I won’t bother.What’s great about that list is I qualify since I did study some sciency sounding things in college. I particularly love the refrain of the word “Earth” and saying these things pertain to it. Genius.Still, I’m curious to know why even though the Bible talks about being good stewards of land both indirectly and directly; and no one will argue that Los Angeles has smog and that asthma and other respiratory diseases are pervasive in cities with that type of pollution; why not want cleaner air and cleaner land and water whether you believe in climate change or not? I mean, my house is not currently on fire, but I’m still going to take measures to prevent it from burning.

  • emsique

    I’m a native Oregonian and I’ve never heard of Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine. Got to be some kind of basement organization of people who believe in the folk tales of ancient goat herders.

  • Rain King

    About that NY Times article…You know, it’s funny. I’m an American living in South Korea. Here they ONLY use compact fluorescent bulbs. The entire country. A few restaurants use the occasional incandescent bulb for decoration but by and large every household is lit by florescent bulbs. Haven’t heard any complaints from the people here about the bulbs.