Polling Imaginary Topics

Posted on 03/31/2009 at 4:24 pm by Bob Cesca

Rasmussen actually polled Americans on a topic that was entirely invented by the far-right — the whole “global currency” fantasy.

Eighty-eight percent (88%) of Americans say it is important for the dollar to remain the currency of the United States, including 70% who say it is Very Important.

This qualifies as push-polling, doesn’t it? Now everyone who was polled likely believes there’s an actual movement to replace our money with some sort of global currency. Which isn’t the case at all. It’s fiction.

I want to put a poll in the field asking people if it’s okay for Michele Bachmann to make sandwiches made of adorable baby orangutan meat.

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  • http://www.politicalpartypooper.wordpress.com politicalpartypooper

    “I want to put a poll in the field asking people if it’s okay for Michele Bachmann to make sandwiches made of adorable baby orangutan meat.”I don’t know. Is baby orangutan meat yummy?

  • GItheJOE

    Can we get a poll of people believing it is OK to stone their wife or sell their daughter into slavery?Immediately followed with a question:Is homosexuality an abomination?Just for my amusement.

  • https://www.coffeemakersetc.com/images/Paper_Filters.jpg Elvis the Dingeldein™

    Mr. The Pooper – Tastes like chicken. If chicken was basted in ass.I’d like to see the statistics on what percentage of that 88% has any fucking clue what they’re talking about. My guess is that 86% of that 88% thought “One World Currency” was the Mark Of The Beast described in one of The Bible™’s more terrifying revelatory books in which multi-cranial dragon-lions spit swords made of sackcloth and Jesus rides a T-Rex into town cutting off the heads of Jews and Unitarians that have Displeased Him. No small wonder that crowd is against that One World Currency shit.Fun statistic about the One World Currency: Every time you make change using that currency, you get back exactly $6.66. Oooooo! Spooky!

  • http://tarackian.deviantart.com J M Ashby

    Actually there is a One World Currency on the horizon, but currency is really the wrong word. Calling it a global backed standard would be more accurate. We used to use the gold standard. Something like that, or that itself, is making a comeback.

  • http://nanotyrnns.blogspot.com/ Nanotyrannus

    Didn’t God (Thor) give us dominion over the baby orangutan, so yes, it is OK to make sandwiches out of them and, in fact, we need to ease the regulation/taxation of the baby orangutan meat industry because it’s the owners of the baby orangutan meat industry that creates jobs, not governments! Why do you hate America you fucking IslamoMarxist?!?!

  • http://cousinavi.wordpress.com cousinavi

    I breed my own baby orangutans, although I find they make a better stew than sandwiches. The arms are particularly tough.Still, I wouldn’t let Michelle Bachmann have any of them. That ridiculous biatch would probably put ketchup on the meat. It would be like that scene in Annie Hall where Diane Keaton is ordering in a kosher Jewish deli and she asks for pastrami…but on white bread instead of rye and with mayonnaise instead of mustard! Some things Just Aren’t Done./Panda burger

  • Klaus

    Nano -Thor did give us dominion over the orangutan, however only as helpmates:”…of the baby orangutan thou shalt not feast, for the hurling of excrement be pleasing to Him. Yea, as Mjolnir be thrown to smite and cast down the foes of the Aesir, verily shall the shit be tossed.” – Prose Edda (New Revised Standard International Edition)Always glad to help a fellow-traveler avoid heresy ;)

  • Klaus

    @ avi -Blasphemy!!

  • mattpddm03

    bob, count me as a no on that. although count me in the column in favor of adorable baby orangutans making sandwiches of michelle bachman.looking forward to your “michelle bachman sandwich we can all believe in” post.

  • http://nanotyrnns.blogspot.com/ Nanotyrannus

    Wow these are funny! We’re just poppin’ ‘em off today.I need to write down “…verily, shall the shit be tossed.”

  • D. C.

    I want a poll to see how many Americans think Michelle Bachman should be committed to an asylum.

  • Tusz

    We just need a poll made up entirely of Michelle Bachmann quotes and paraphrases.Rate the following statements (Strongly disagree/disagree/neutral/agree/strongly agree):”We need to figure out who in Congress is pro-America and who’s anti-America.”"We need to be armed and dangerous to fight this spending!”"Blood for the Blood God!”And so on.

  • D. C.

    Don’t forget, “Michael Steele, you be the man!”

  • http://freeforallpolitics.multiply.com/ Cody