Conserva-pervs

Posted on 04/30/2009 at 4:06 pm by Bob Cesca

FOX News is running more footage of bikini girls. And I’m not talking about their usual semi-cross-eyed cast of blonde anchors.

When I first moved (permanently) to Pennsylvania after college, I worked at a local radio station and was constantly told how “conservative” Reading and Berks County was (and still is). My first call-in talk show combined comedy and politics, but I had to filter everything I said through this prism of “conservative Berks,” which meant remaining family-oriented and even-handed.

What struck me as inexplicably bizarre, however, was the fact that almost every township in Berks had at least one or two of those creepy brothel-ish handjob “massage” parlors. No massage, actually, just handjobs. Guys would go in, pay a fee, get a handjob, and leave. Cops were constantly busting them, but the parlors never really went away. At the same time, there are more porn stores here than Walmarts.

Yet Berks County was (and is) very conservative. And FOX News is all about family values and conservative politics. What does all of this tell us about right wing repression and perversion?

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  • Curly Lasagna

    It tells us they’ve come out of the closet to take the Cleveland Steamer all the way to Tea Bag Town.Their hypocracy knows no bounds and has no shame……

  • brutlyhonest

    It’s sort of like how the most vocal homophobes are often actually gay. They think by being loud they can suppress their true selves. The hypocrisy is never-ending.

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    The Republican Congressmen that screamed the loudest about Bill and Monica were also the ones that were photographed out on the town every night with one of DC finest twenty-something professionals on each arm. I’ve been there and seen this. For some reason these photographs never appear anywhere the constituents would notice.The hidden middle name of Republican Congressmen is “Hypocrite.”

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    Give my regards to Fleetwood Bob.

  • jenski42

    I feel sorry for them. I really do. Imagine the pressure they have to feel. Some of it has to do with religion, and that makes me feel even sorrier for them. I know the Pastafarians here will disagree, but it’s really hard to just walk away from religion for a lot of people, so they end up living these lives in secret. A shame./ducks

  • Jan

    I don’t feel sorry for any of them. They are repressed, depressed, hypocritical and STUPID asshats.And they make me sick.

  • jenski42

    However, there is no excuse for “Little Ball of Hate” Sean Hannity’s stupidity in interviewing Kim Kardashian and believing that she’s a role model for girls.Link

  • http://tarackian.deviantart.com J M Ashby

    Repression is very widespread in this country. And I don’t mean just sexual repression. Virtually all forms of self expression are very repressed here.

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    J M -Yes. I’ve been to Europe. The U.S. is becoming more and more like the worst Heinlein authoritarian religious societies he described so well.The U.S. is becoming a very depressing and boring place to be. The uniformity and sameness is smothering.

  • kealoha

    I never knew that girls in bikinis were a family value issue. Trying to draw some sort of conclusion that conservatives are more perverted than liberals because of massage parlor location is ridiculous. Take a look at Honolulu, mostly liberal, is filled with massage parlors, strip clubs, bath houses, etc. Bob, you can do better than this.

  • JJ

    Just wondering if there was somebody at the door at the “massage” parlors that checked the voter registration cards to only allow Republicans in. No? You mean it’s possible that a few Democrats slipped in? I’m so shocked!

  • http://hugetinymistake.wordpress.com chris

    Going ot be honest, I never knew about these parlors and I lived in Reading for many years.

  • dswagz

    Hello? -They’ve Gone BLIND.Besides, it’s ok when they do it;–You, or anyone else? No.

  • http://nanotyrnns.blogspot.com/ Nanotyrannus

    It’s the same repression that causes God-fearing “Christian” men to get married, have kids and then spend time here in Denver soliciting hustlers for Meth and blow-jobs.When these poor saps are told to “pray it away” all they’re doing is fooling themselves. Our sexual desires bubble to the surface whether we like it or not, and when repressed they tend to surface in ways that are deviant. If priests were allowed to bang each other, they might not be so quick to bang the altar boys.And if the Berkers weren’t told constantly how dirty it is to make the wiener happy, maybe these men would ask their wives for a handjob instead of the girls down at the “massage parlor.”

  • D. C.

    Bob, take route 11/15 from Harrisburg to Williamsport. As you pass through several “conservative” counties, you’ll see more porno-palaces than gas stations. There’s even a swingers club in “conservative” Perry County.

  • emPulse

    I used to have some male friends that were escorts in DC. Most would never name names (why I don’t know..) but had plenty of stories of a few gentlemen with (R)’s after there names who enjoyed a proper fist’n.It confounds me that they have some how stolen the word “moral” and attached themselves to it.. guess it was easy ’cause apparently they are all a rather sticky bunch.

  • Lexaburn

    Yeah, FNC finds any excuse to show bikini clad bimbos traipsing around somewhere.Oh, it also finds any excuse to show stock footage of Mexicans running across a field or being put into handcuffs. Oh, Nancy Pelosi smiling (bitchy con-servative males HATE the woman, and get fired up at the sight of Pelosi enjoying herself). Oh, and Sarah Palin doing…anything, really.