Mmmm. Sacrilicious.

Posted on 04/29/2009 at 12:22 pm by Bob Cesca

Seriously, this has to be a sacrilege. Jesus being tortured to death on a license plate just above the slogan “Sunshine State?” I wouldn’t be shocked if the circle behind the crucifixion image was supposed to be a Florida orange.

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  • jmrunning3

    South Carolina’s “Believe” plate was scrapped due to its dubious constitutionality. Hopefully, this torture-porn will suffer the same fate.If Jesus had been hung, would Christians proudly sport nooses around their necks too? If he’d been beheaded, would they bow before sacred halberds?The whole concept is disgusting.

  • Curly Lasagna

    Just when you think they finally ran out of bat shit crazy………

  • http://www.deusexmalcontent.com Chez

    AS I said on my own blog, wouldn’t it be great if it only took three screws to attach it to your car?

  • Sierradrinker

    When I was living in the Sunshine State, I always thought it unfair that I could get this, but not a license plate that said “Choose Choice.”

  • http://twitter.com/hausanni A.J.

    jmrunning3, I was just about to say the same thing.Last year, the SC General Assembly passed a pro-Christian specialty plate which Gov. Sanford pocket-vetoed and (Lt. Gov. Andre) Bauer funded. It took only a few days to get the first 400 orders. However, SC was ordered in federal court to stop making and promoting the plates a year ago.People just don’t learn, do they?

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    The Florida State legislature is filled with Republican Gumbies. Some of them make Michele Bachmann look like a Rocket Scientist.

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/ ∴ Κyle ∴

    Chez just made me fall out of my chair with that one.

  • https://www.coffeemakersetc.com/images/Paper_Filters.jpg Elvis the Dingeldein™

    Seriously, Florida is going to be Stop #1 on The Jesus’s Big Bad DeJewification Tour when He returns to Earth in his flaming chariot to rid the world of Semites and Unitarians and kicks Satan in his asshole with a sword-spitting multicranial dragon apparatus. The LAST thing I’d think Gentiles would want to do is annoy The Jesus with license plates that depict His suffering behind personalized messages like “JEZUSFRK” and “CHRSTFN”.

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/ ∴ Κyle ∴

    Elvis, everyone knows Jesus will come back on a dinosaur.

  • ElMystico

    Oh man, one of my favorite Simpsons quotes ever.Homer, that’s not God, that’s a waffle you got stuck to the ceiling!Forgive her Lord, for she knows not what she says.

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    … kicks Satan in his asshole with a sword-spitting multicranial dragon apparatus.

    That. Is. Beautiful.The multicranial dragon should be wearing a ‘Stars and Bars’ sash.Frankly I was surprised that they had the Sun behind Jesus. I was expecting the Stars and Bars. Since we only have rear plates here, you can get a stars and bars plate for the front, and a Sunshine State Jesus plate for the rear. This will go well with your McCain/Palin and KKKU2 bumper stickers and the required bull scrotum on the trailer hitch.

  • Jack

    Silly Rat, believe it or not, they actually banned the “truck nutz” down here. The rednecks went nuts saying it violated their First Amendment rights (see, for Truck Nutz they embrace the Constitution but when Prezzident Kickass destroys it, they disavow all knowledge of it).

  • Jackdaddy

    Can I get a Star of David on mine? With maybe a bagel in the background?

  • Jack

    I’m calling it now. Within a year here in FL we’ll see:1. A “scientific” study showing how those with Jesus plates are in less auto accidents than those without.2. License plate stigmata3. Chrome license plate frames with thorns.

  • http://www.politicalpartypooper.wordpress.com politicalpartypooper

    Man! Jesus had huge pecs!

  • http://americanrazor.blogspot.com Razor

    I can’t wait for someone to get this plate with the tag “ATHE1ST”

  • http://www.xkcd.com/ ∇ Silly Ratfaced Git ∇

    Jack -You must be in VA. I didn’t know the ban had passed. It probably won’t survive a first amendment challenge.I do not approve of such bans for a reason that many probably hadn’t thought about.I want a warning when I may come in contact with a Gumby. If we try to require that all Gumbies have “Gumby on board” signs in their rear windows there would be a huge protest.Instead, give out free “Stars and Bars” stickers. They will even pay for “Stars and Bars” license plates, window decals, better bumper stickers, etc.These are just as effective as “Gumby on board” to give me the heads up that I require. The Truck Nutz gives an even better heads up.Interpreting Gumby Warning Signs:1. Car/SUV/Minivan has “Star and Bars” insignia of some sort. – Car contains Garden variety Gumby. Degree of Gumbyness is directly proportional to size of Stars and Bars isignia. Also additional data input must be considered. Bush/Cheney and McCain/Palin insignia indicate increased Gumbyness. If all of these plus “My kid can kick your Honor Student’s Ass” are present, then huge Gumbyness is indicated.2. Pickup Truck has “Star and Bars” insignia of some sort. – Truck contains Gumby. Additional insignia indicate increased Gumbyness. McCain/Palin, “… kick Honor Student’s Ass”, etc. indicate huge to very high degree of Gumbyness.3. Pickup Truck with testicles. – Extreme Gumbyness. Other Gumby indicators may or may not be present but probably are but it doesn’t really matter because we are saturated on the Gumbyness scale. The other indicators are just redundancy in action. Approach this Gumby only when necessary and with extreme caution. This Gumby is likely to be a member of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. Do NOT mention Global Warming.IMO, Truck Bull Scrota serve a very useful purpose.

  • Ady

    Thanks, AJ. I was gonna make the exact SAME point, but you beat me to it. I STILL see the “SC Jesus” plates in the carpool line. Grrr…

  • http://tarackian.deviantart.com J M Ashby

    The profits made by the sale of religious items discredits religion from the start.

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/ ∴ Κyle ∴

    J M, I would be more inclined to say that the outrageous claims most religions make do a much better job of discrediting them, but that’s a matter of opinion, I imagine.

  • http://tarackian.deviantart.com J M Ashby

    Oh plenty of things discredit it moreso than merchandising, I was just staying on the topic of custom jesus license plates.

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/ ∴ Κyle ∴

    I just want to know where my FSM plate is at.

  • Marie

    Is Hoot Smalley any relation to Stuart Smalley?

  • rogect8

    Everyone’s comments on this are cracking me up.This reminds me why I no longer live in Florida. Sure, there are lots of nice old Jews in the southern portion…but the panhandle might as well be rural Mississippi (see Silly Git’s comments regarding “truck balls”). And that’s why FL is now #2 on my list of places to avoid if at all possible (#1 being the inside of any church).

  • jonah

    ROTFLMAO at this entire post! :-D And sadly, I do live in rural Mississippi. :-\

  • Lexaburn

    The phony holy rollers figure any gesture involving Jesus’s image plastered across something absolves them of sin.This is why you’ve got the mini-Mephistopheles wanna-bes in the GOP defending dopey shit like that license plate. It’s the same shit many Republicons do when they talk up misguided wars, some never having served in the military themselves.

  • Lexaburn

    I call what the holy frauds are doing “McChrist-worship.”

  • http://pushingfiftygently.blogspot.com/ Jaliya

    Hmm. Maybe Florida’s reputation as “God’s Waiting Room” is permutating …When I was thirteen (1972), I was in Palm Beach on Spring break, and I asked my father why there were so many old people around — I mean wizened little blue-hairs of both genders. They all seemed to wear pastel hats, shorts and loafers, and they toddled around from boutique to boutique with ice cream cones.Dad told me that all these people lived here; they weren’t on vacation like we were. “This place …” he said with a chuckle, “…this place is God’s Waiting Room.”Nowadays I wonder if “God’s Waiting Room” is more referring to the folks who are hittin’ the Panhandle in anticipation of the Rapture … ;-D