I've never done this before, but I think it's time to start. Because some comments are worth sharing.
This glorious bit of satire comes from regular commenter Mr. Brink.
Mitt Romney and his partners at Bain Capital have put together a generous offer pamphlet for you, middle class American people.
The first step in the plan for the New American Mitt Romney Century would be to of course consolidate all the waste and fraud this president has failed to rein in to pay down his criminal debt to society in increments and lump sums, and incremental lump sums, and to combine the Department of Energy, The EPA, The UN, Department of Education, Dept. of Labor, Consumer protections, The Union of Concerned Scientists, and the office of the Vice President to boldly cut the deficit where this president has failed to go. Dick Cheney for life! The military will now fall under Mitt Romney's eager enthusiasm for subservience to the American Death Star Alliance paid for by a more simplified tax plan. A national sales tax, Living wage tax, voting tax, security camera tax, administrative tax, Internet usage tax, Licensing tax, sin tax, unemployment tax, water tax, and all applicable taxes and fees will be paid for by allowing more hard working Americans to keep their freedom.
Because Mitt Romney is excited about this president's failures, he wants you to be excited for Mitt Romney. Excited for America, but scared! Fearful and uncertain of your shared hardships, unnecessary government debt defaults, and economic pains to come. Mitt Romney and his partners at Bain Capital feel your pain because this president came into office as a failed president and has proven it time and time again and he has failed more Americans than any president in our lifetime. His lofty speeches and inability to restore the future are dangerous. Mitt Romney and his partners at Bain Capital intend to inspire and lead and sire a whole new generation of totally self-made millionaire offspring who totally build it themselves to bring this country back to a new age of appreciation for employer rights and worker subordination, "jobs and the economy."
Mitt Romney wants to cut taxes and put Americans back to work immediately starting with his first day in office so we can once again look poverty in the face with individual freedom and the confidence of Ronald Reagan tearing down that wall. Because Donald Trump and one Ted Nugent are looking around in fearful uncertainty wondering where are all the jobs? This president doesn't have any answers because he has squandered a totally filibuster proof Super Majority and has attacked employers and their workers and their right to work all across this great country and it's time they got to work.
Mitt Romney once saw a man kiss another man and it was the most beautiful thing he ever witnessed. It disgusted him and he doesn't agree with it, but that's just where Mitt Romney disagrees with himself and the majority of Americans, so we can agree to disagree and you'll like it because some things go against everything Mitt Romney and his wife Ann believe in.
And Mitt Romney is laser focused on Jobs and the Economy and vice versa. All business. Nothing personal. Tackling the issues of the day, putting America back on top of the fiscal pyramid where this president is afraid to lead and instead punishing success and our traditions of celebrating the greed and success of others. In Mitt Romney's administration, he will reward only the greedy and the successful with lower deficits, less spending, lower taxes, higher exceptionalism, less regulations, entitlement spending reform, more growth, better success, unity, dominating strength, tough decisions, and laughing at his religion is unfair.
But unfortunately, this president doesn't want to talk about the issues that matter to the American people, like his job-crippling policies. This president just isn't working. "Get him a bodybag!" Sincerely, the Cobra Kai. He's lazy and shiftless and foreign and has failed to understand, or fully appreciate his freedom in America.
And because this president is spineless and weak on crime and tyranny and Hugo Chavez and drilling anywhere for oil-- he has given aid and comfort to the tyranny of the disenfranchised around the globe. Emboldening our enemies and bowing like the house servant to the Emperor of Japan. Mitt Romney will never bow to the help, or to the Soviet Union, and he will never take no for an answer and he will never compromise with terror, or China, and such as, Iraq and Iran, and we will rise to #1 again once his policies are Executive ordered on Day 1 and given a white man's head start to take effect.
Because this president has failed to work with Republicans at making himself a one term president at every turn and it's time for a change(it's okay, forever white flight America, you can treat the most intellectually capable president in modern history like the help)back to when... O Beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain...
The keys are all there. It all makes sense. Just sign on the dotted line. Sign it. Sign it!
I'm still laughing at "higher exceptionalism."