George W. Bush loves Osama bin Laden. Big, sloppy, hearts in the notebook margins man-love.
Osama began the courtship by giving Bush a big gift in 2001: huge approval ratings and the support of the world. So charmed and smitten was Bush that, in return, he let Osama escape when he could've killed or captured him in Afghanistan. Letting a murderer go is the type of sacrifice only a man in love would make -- especially when the same man executed 152 murderers and retarded people in Texas.
But it doesn't end there. One of the places Osama longed for, but couldn't attain, was Iraq. So Bush invaded Iraq and staged a successful coup d'etat against Saddam Hussein.
As a glorious 'thank you' bouquet, Osama released a videotape and gave Bush another four years in office. Osama likes presents, and his meal ticket was in danger of going away.
Now that Saddam is gone, Osama has moved into Iraq. And he's making taped announcements that he's in charge now (note Bush's willingness to respond). Very few gifts represent a more generous display of love than George W. Bush giving the gift of an entire nation to his long-distance lover. A gift rivaled only by Osama giving Bush a second term, political capital, and a legacy.
It's sweet and selfless, their love, when you really stop to think about it. And by "sweet and selfless" I mean twisted, bloody, and criminal.