Election 2016

The Savior Has Returned

The man himself has not made it official yet as of this writing, but it looks like Marco Rubio is running for reelection after previously swearing he wasn't going to.

The man running to replace Rubio said this morning that he will drop out of the race to make way for Rubio's reelection.

"I have unfinished business. We have unfinished business together," Jolly wrote in a Facebook post announcing his decision. "Today I'm asking you for the opportunity to keep doing my job. I ask for your support in seeking reelection to the House of Representatives."

Jolly will now likely face off against former Gov. Charlie Crist (D) in Florida's 13th district, which was redrawn last year.

Rubio first hinted that he may run again earlier this week when the infamous gay rights opponent said the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub inspired him to serve his community.

The only possible takeaway from this series of events is that a mass shooting at a gay nightclub reminded Senator Rubio, who may or may not be a shape-shifting lizard, that opposing gay rights in Congress is his higher calling.

Marco Rubio is a walking stereotype of a politician. Nothing he says is genuine. He has no clear principles or morals. He's ineffective and incompetent. He's also personally responsible for turning this election season into a literal dick joke.

The good news for all of us is that we may get to enjoy the sight of Rubio losing twice in one year. Rubio will be running for reelection with Donald Trump at the top of the ticket in a state that Trump is likely to lose very badly.

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