Here’s a brilliant idea. Let’s allow teachers to carry fully-automatic weapons in schools.
According to Senator Lindsey Graham’s Tea Party challenger Lee Bright, the Constitution is very clear; you should be able to carry any weapon into school buildings.
COLMES: So [teachers] shouldn’t have machine guns?
BRIGHT: I would think a teacher protecting a school grounds should be able to carry whatever she can carry legally.
COLMES: So should machine guns be legal to carry?
BRIGHT: The Second Amendment is pretty clear. It says the right to carry arms should not be infringed. [...]
COLMES: So you should be able to have any gun you want?
BRIGHT: Well, I don’t see how the government can regulate it.
And following the next escalation of the educational arms race, we’ll erect guard towers in the four corners of the school, ring the grounds with barbed wire, and perch a sniper on the roof. We’ll finally become the police state the Second Amendment Absolutists believe they’re fighting, but at least our children will be free from Liberty.