Because Socialism! or something.

J.C. Penney shares finished up 11.6% Friday following news late Thursday that hedge fund mogul George Soros has taken a large stake in the retailer, and a report from CNBC Friday afternoon that Goldman Sachs has secured $1.75 billion in financing for the company.

Stock surging? That’s not how an anti-American socialist is supposed to act! George Soros is trying to destroy capitalism from within! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Signed, Wingnuts.