Ethics

Where’s The Medical Records?

Mitt Romney's tax returns are off-limits, but Tea Party Nation President Judson Phillips would like for President Obama to prove that he's not a gay crackhead.

Really.

Tea Party Nation President Judson Phillips has come to Mitt Romney’s defense in his refusal to release his tax returns. In an email to members of the Tennessee-based corporation on Thursday night, Phillips wrote, “There are a lot of records that Americans should want to see from Barack Obama.”

Phillips demanded that Obama release his Occidental College records to make sure the president was not on a foreign scholarship, as well as his medical records, which Phillips suspects contain proof that Obama has smoked crack cocaine and had anal sex in the 90s.

Not that being gay or smoking crack once upon a time two decades ago would be relevant anyway, because it sure as hell wasn't for George W. Bush, but it's quite revealing that the Tea Party believes the president's bedroom life is more important than Mitt Romney's embodiment of everything that's wrong with the status quo.

Romney has employed teams of accountants, lawyers, and professional, suited scam artists to ensure that America is denied every single penny possible using every trick, every loophole, and every single exception the system allows. And he paid for those accountants, lawyers, and scam artists with money he earned bankrupting companies, screwing people out of their pensions, and sending jobs overseas.

No stone has been left un-turned in Mitt Romney's quest to abuse the system. Highly-decorated economic experts can't even identify half the stones, nor will anyone be able to unless Romney releases his labyrinthine tax returns.

And the Tea Party calls this patriotism.